My sole purpose in going to the store is to get back outside as quickly as possible.
I used to be able to step out of my vehicle, cross the parking lot, get everything I needed, pay for it, and be back in my car within ten minutes. A key word here is need. I was getting what was needed. Like, for the rest of the day. I didn’t plan a week ahead or even a day.
I never ran. I always walked. But I was always in such a hurry that I could walk from my vehicle to the back of the store in thirty seconds.
Once I started dating my now-wife, I would step out of the vehicle, open her door, close it, walk toward the store, get to the door, then realize she was only a few steps away from the car. I had to wait five minutes until she caught up.
It’s needless to say, but I changed. And now that I have children, ha! It takes millennia to walk from the car to the store. And now I have to stop and get a cart once I get inside. That’s something else I never did. I would always carry everything.
One time I was loaded with groceries, and a bag of frozen vegetables fell off my shoulders to the floor behind me. My arms were full, so I don’t know how I managed to do it, but I kicked it back up in mid-air with my foot and I grabbed it without dropping any other items. I felt like a superhero.
Whenever I checked out, I’d always mix the items on the rubber belt. I didn’t think to put the fruit up there, then the canned goods, then the milk, then the bread, then the bleach, then the CDs, then the tennis balls. There was no order whatsoever.
That’s something else my wife changed. Our first grocery excursion together as a married couple found me throwing everything up there, per usual. But my new wife stopped me and told me how to do it. I argued and said that was the most ridiculous thing I’d ever heard. Just put the items on the rubber belt and then put them in a plastic bag.
Simple.
Then that cashier had to put her two cents worth into the discussion. Then they asked the other two cashiers close by. I argued with all of them. Then they asked several more. They all agreed with my wife.
Figures.
Nowadays, there are times I go to the store by myself, step out of the car, walk as fast as possible across the parking lot, thumb my nose at the carts, load my arms like a cargo ship, stumble my way to the front, then just dump it all on the skinny rubber belt and let the cashier figure it out.
Then I laugh hysterically.
to the guys,
– Caleb
caneymountainblog.com 