It’s been a rough week. If you’ve had a rough week, you’re in good company.
I hugged a toilet this week and crawled around on all fours in the bathroom. And no, I don’t drink — alcohol, that is. I was simply begging God to deliver me from the nauseous clutches of death.
I went to bed that night shaking like an armadillo in the Arctic. I inadvertently moved the bed over two inches. With a fever of 102, the night was so horrible and long that I woke up at two in the morning and told my wife, “I guess it’s time to go to work, but I don’t know how I’ll make it through the day.”
I thought it was five hours later than it was. Soon after that, I made my trek to the water closet.
After my first jaunt, the body aches took over for the nausea.
I spent the remainder of the night in the La-Z-Boy in the zero gravity position. Periodically, I would wake up and find myself muttering random names.
At one point, I called out to Mary and Richard. Another time, I spoke to Nicholas and asked about what he was doing.
Other times I woke up asking God to help me and asking Jesus to rebuke the evil spirit of upchucking.
The next day, I received a message on Facebook from a lady trying to sell a $50,000 vehicle.
At some point during the night, I scrolled through the marketplace and asked a lady about her vehicle. And I wouldn’t ever buy a $50,0000 hunk of depreciating metal.
And I have zero recollection of ever being on my phone that night. So I want to say I’m sorry to that lady if she’s reading this. I didn’t intend to get your hopes up.
My cough is getting better. I finally felt like I could walk without full-body support, so I went to the store and picked up some Mucinex DM.
It’s a cough suppressant and an expectorant. I don’t know what expectorant means, but I know what suppress means.
It means less. You’ll still cough, but you won’t cough as much. We’ll suppress your cough, not annihilate it. Instead of coughing 200 times an hour, you’ll only cough 150. Yay.
So I’d like to apologize in advance to everyone at church tomorrow. Maybe I’ll take two suppressants.
to those in the throes of woes,
– Caleb
caneymountainblog.com 