The Restart

Sometimes, parents feel like they haven’t done well at parenting. It’s a never-ending learning experience.

I feel that way about being a husband as well.

Most days, I feel like I failed, but I always wake up with the determination to be the best dad and husband I can be.

Here are my thoughts on the matter.

If I could, I’d go back again
And be a better dad to them
I’d be consistent every week
And maybe sway cheek-to-cheek
With their beautiful mother
And tell her how no other
Could take her place in my life
And I’m so glad that she’s my wife.
And when she hollers ‘come to bed’
I’d do exactly what she said.
I’d look her in the eyes more often.
Her delicate features would soften
My hardened heart of granite-stone.
And I’d turn off my cell phone.

If I could, I’d go back again
To make sure times were better then
I’d ensure everything was alright,
We’d watch all the stars come out at night.
I’d mow the lawn without complaint
And try to become a better saint
And tell them how they are my world
Protect them when fears were hurled
At their little minds and all kinds
Of hate was rampaging in the street.
I’d wrap love around them like a sheet.

If I could, I’d go back again
I’d make sure times were better when
We were together in the living room
And turn off the TV portal of gloom.
I’d look at every single one of them
Like they were each one a precious gem
And memorize the measure of their faces
And remember to stay in their good graces.

If I could, I’d go back again
And try to be a better friend
I’d call them one more time
Stay a little longer on the line
Buy them a cup-o-Joe
And try to let them know
Of my sincere appreciation
Surrender all my dedication.

If I’d known things wouldn’t stay the same
And how life doesn’t play a fair game
I’d give a little more encouragement
Take back a few of the dollars spent
On frivolous, unnecessary things.
Provide wind to Grace and Mercy’s wings,
Supply water to dry and barren streams,
Invest in Hope and Love and Someone’s dreams.
And even when my time would not permit
I’d go back again…and just be present.

If I could.

But I can’t go back again
To fix all of my mistakes
So I’ll start from where I am
And give it all it takes
To make my life worth something
To tell others when I’m gone
A memory worth your keeping
Is the treasure I have won.

to those who need some grace to start again,
– Caleb