Adam and Eve had no parents. They were the first husband and wife, father and mother, and grandparents. Grandparents were a product of the continuance of the human race.
God created the Husband and Wife, then after they served their time in the Pangea Penitentiary raising their little heathens, God said, “Now, my children, it’s time to show you that little children can be enjoyable.”
I remember as a little boy, probably two years old, my mom would take me outside, set me down, give me a fresh diaper, and I would walk up the hill to my Grandparent’s house so Grandma could rock me to sleep.
We have a video of that happening, but that’s not why I remember it. I remember other times when I would walk up there.
One time, in particular, I remember Grandma sitting in her rocking chair, and she was singing Rockabye Baby to me. Another time, I was almost asleep when Grandpa came home from golfing, and he burst through the front door, and she shushed him.
Another time, I remember being so excited about Christmas that I convinced Grandma to put up the Christmas tree earlier than usual. I remember that while we set it up, Grandpa was outside mowing. I don’t know if he was mowing grass or mulching leaves, but I do know that it was before Halloween.
Grandma Doey and Great-Grandma Dobbs would go to Hardees for lunch. I would go with them from time to time. But one time, when I was four, I went with them, and a little girl my age was sitting at a nearby table.
She kept looking at me and smiling. Grandma nudged me, “Caleb, that little girl is looking at you. I think she likes you.”
“Would you stop looking at her, please?”
“Why don’t you go say hello?”
“Why don’t we all just mind our own business?”
Grandma could tell that I wasn’t going to budge. So she waved the little girl over. I couldn’t believe it.
That gutsy little filly came over to our table and asked how old I was.
I told her it was none of her business and she needed to get back in her high chair.
She told me I was cute. I said it’s too bad I couldn’t say the same about her.
At the tender age of four, I wasn’t ready for a committed relationship. I was mortified. I was petrified. I never wanted to go out in public again.
And I didn’t want my parents, or anyone else, to know what had happened.
Well, Great-Grandma Dobbs and Grandma Driscoll thought it was the cutest thing they’d ever seen, and as soon as Grandma got home, she told Grandpa.
The age-old belief about women being the ones who do all the gossiping is a myth.
What did Grandpa do? Marched down the hill to my parent’s house and told my mom what happened.
I was even more mortified. I was doubly petrified.
I know you probably won’t believe this, but I was in the bathroom when Grandpa told my mom. My Grandparents have a window in their white ceramic seating area.
I had just finished and washed my hands. I turned around to dry my hands on the towel underneath the window. I looked down the field to my parent’s house, and my Grandpa was seated on the DIY bench my mom had built in the front yard.
Mom was on the bench swing, and Grandpa was bent over laughing about whatever he was saying.
I screamed at the inside of the bathroom window, “NOOOOOOO!”
I ran down to the house. Mom greeted me, “Hey, son. I hear you have an admirer.” More laughing.
I went inside and packed my bags. I had to leave the county.
It took me a long time before I ever went back to Hardees with the two elderly matchmakers.
I have more Grandparent stories, but they’ll have to wait. All in all, I’m thankful for Grandparents. I know some never met their Grandparents or didn’t have good ones.
But I’m so thankful that I do.
And I’m thankful that my children have good Grandparents on both sides. I just never knew my parents were so generous.
to the grands,
– Caleb
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