The Water Closet

Public restrooms. Need I say more? Well, I will.

I went into one recently. Normally, I mind my own business in such a room. But the scene before me played out as I was walking toward my destination, and I couldn’t help but overhear and be moved with compassion.

A father and his very young son were standing near the wall-mounted version of the white porcelain flushing component of the water closet.

It was cold outside. The son wore a heavy coat. And he was attempting to shed his coat on the floor underneath the wall-mounted version of the white porcelain flushing component. And it was a very nice coat.

The father lost what little mind he had left.

“NO, son! LEAVE YOUR COAT ON!” The desperation in his voice appeared on his face.

He caught it before it hit the floor. There was a sigh of relief followed by a grimace and an utterance of disgust. And I completely understand the man’s frustration.

When it comes to men’s bathrooms, it would appear that everything is fair game. Let’s just say it’s a wonder to me that we have successful male snipers in the Armed Forces. And that’s all I have to say about that.

I overheard the father say, “Son, pull your pants up. NO, PULL THEM UP NOW. Don’t walk around this room like that!”

The poor father.

I can’t count the number of times I’ve brought Son #1 into a lavatory and verbalized unmitigated terror and revulsion.

“No, don’t touch anything! Oh, dear God. NO! Son #1, listen to me! DO. NOT. TOUCH. ANYTHING.”

“Am I speaking Latin? How do you not understand the words coming out of my mouth right now?”

“Son #1, get UP off the floor! Aaaahh! Look me in the eyes. Do not open that door. You hear me? Ugh!”

There are times I think I’m losing my ever-loving mind.

And, to be completely honest, it’s possible I already have.

to those who understand,
– Caleb