We had our church Christmas party tonight. We had a pretty good time during the meal. Then, we had a pretty good time during the gift exchange. And, finally, we had a good time as we left the party.
In the middle of that, we played games and heard the best jokes in the business.
I’d like to share them with you tonight. I imagine you saying, “Oh, you don’t have to, Caleb.”
But really, truly, I want to. There’s no reason for our church members to be the only ones who suffer tonight. I’m all about sharing. Here we go:
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs.
“I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE…
I PRAY FOR A NEW PLAYSTATION…
I PRAY FOR A NEW FOUR-WHEELER…”
His older brother leaned over, nudged the younger brother, and said, “Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn’t deaf.” To which the little brother replied, “No, but Grandma is!”
Yeah, we had a pretty good time tonight. The funny stories I shared were the highest low points I’ve ever experienced.
Here are a few of the one-liners that provided uproarious laughter for literally one and a half seconds. It was almost too much to handle. Here we go:
How did Scrooge win the football game? The ghost of Christmas passed!
What is a vegan’s favorite Christmas carol? Soy to the World.
What do they sing at a snowman’s birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow!
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum? A meltdown.
What did Santa say when he stepped into a big puddle? It must have reindeer.
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing, it was on the house!
What did the Christmas tree do after its bank closed? It started its own branch.
How do Christmas trees get ready for a night out? They spruce up!
Yeah, we were definitely having a good time this evening.
Three men went to heaven on Christmas Eve and were met by Apostle Peter at the pearly gates.
“In honor of this holy season,” Apostle Peter said, “You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.”
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. “It represents a candle,” he said. “You may pass through the pearly gates,” Apostle Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, “They’re bells.” Apostle Peter said, “You may pass through the pearly gates.”
The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women’s glasses.
Apostle Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, “And just what do those symbolize?”
The man replied, “They’re Carol’s.”
Oh, I definitely had a good time tonight. But I probably won’t go into comedy any time soon.
to the poor souls who had to endure those jokes in person,
– Caleb
caneymountainblog.com 