My wife is a very kind person. We’ll get back to that sentence in a moment.
Meanwhile, I love deer jerky. Immensely. Specifically, the deer jerky my dad makes, the ingredients of which are comprised primarily of Worcestershire sauce, liquid smoke, and soy sauce. And meat.
I get selfish when it comes to that homemade deer jerky.
My children are well-fed. They have all the food they could ever want, and Son #2 eats like a growing teenager already.
But when it comes to the deer jerky, I don’t care if anyone else gets any. My level of caring dips below zero when it comes to whether or not anyone else gets deer jerky.
Let’s pretend someone complained to me about not getting any deer jerky. I would say, “Oh, you didn’t get any deer jerky? Too bad. It was good. I mean, whew, the best I’ve ever had! You should’ve gotten to it first. Maybe next time.” And then, I would pull out the last piece and eat it in front of them.
We received some the other day, and I got it first. Everybody else was in bed. It was past our bedtime when we got it. Anyway, I ate to my heart’s content and subsequently “put away” the jerky.
Now, we’ll get back to the first sentence. My wife is so sweet.
She got the jerky, ate a piece, and gave our boys some of it.
They are like their father and absolutely LOVE deer jerky. But again, I get selfish when it comes to jerky. I couldn’t believe she gave them some of it. They can have every other food item in the house, but the deer jerky? God forbid.
And I expect when my children get old enough to be cognizant of the fact that we’ve received deer jerky, they will organize a game or some other kind of contest to decide who gets the jerky. Or grab it and run. If their mom has it, she’ll divvy it out fairly.
The other day, I took a piece of deer jerky from the hiding place and ate it. Son #1 came to get to my recliner and was talking to me. He was standing close, and I leaned forward to talk to him.
In the middle of the conversation, he said, “Dad, I smell deer jerky.” Then he looked at me with a big smile and eyes full of hope.
I replied, “Well, that’s because my breath always smells like this. If you’re hungry, there’s some turkey or steak in the fridge. Want some mashed potatoes or Mac and Cheese?”
And right now, he’s in bed, and I’m finishing the deer jerky as I write this.
And it is so good. I wish you could’ve had some.
Maybe next time.
to anyone who enjoys marinated dehydrated meat,
– Caleb
P.S. Please don’t make this post seriously. I’m not that selfish.
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