The Game Show

Son #1 loves to play trivia. He got the idea from a radio program called Adventures in Odyssey. There’s an episode called Truth, Trivia, and Trina.

He loves that episode. He re-enacts it whenever possible. There are times that he demands our participation in what he simply calls Truth and Trivia.

Such a time occurred this afternoon while sitting outside my parent’s house in the warm afternoon sunshine and the gentle Arctic breeze that brushed against our rosy cheeks.

Their house has been undergoing a remodel of sorts since the fire. Somebody left a sawhorse on the front lawn. Son #1 carried it over to where we sat in lawn chairs.

“Okay, everybody. Listen to me.”

I was still talking.

“Uh, excuse me, Dad. We have a trivia show going on here.”

I continued talking.

“Dad, hey, Dad. Dad, I’m the host, and I’m trying to talk over here.”

He makes things up on the fly. He is a child prodigy of improvisation. He’ll start talking without a clue what he’s going to say. Sometimes, it makes sense. Then, sometimes, it goes like it did today.

The game show commenced.

“Momma, we’ll start with you. How many glasses do trees have on their eyebrows?”

“Uh, what? Uh, I don’t know.”

“You have to guess.”

“Uh, two?”

“You’re absolutely correct! Three points for you, Mom.”

(Excuse me while I pause the trivia show. This is the writer, Caleb. From this point, I’ll just give you the questions and answers. After our confusion, we decided to provide crazy answers to these crazier trivia questions. All right, we’ll unpause.)

“How many houses have windows on the edges?”
“643.”
“Correct!”

How many cars can talk?
“All of them.”
“Correct!”

“How many chairs can walk on their hands?”
“I’d say about only six million.”
“You are correct!”

“How many phones can talk on a trailer?”
“Four hundred and eighty-seven thousand.”
“Correct!!”

“How many hats can walk on their cheeks?”
“Zero.”
“You’re correct!”

“How many branches can grow on a truck?”
“Uh, two thousand nine hundred.”
“Wow, you’re right!”

“How many skateboards can go on house roofs?”
“Four.”

“How many hairs can grow on bellies?”
(Pause. Uh, it’s Caleb here again. This one almost didn’t receive an answer. Eventually, someone croaked out through the bouts of laughter, “A million.” Of course, they were correct. Unpause.)

“How many pants can grow on a feet?”
“You mean foot.”
“No, I mean a feet. Q-p-e-i-g. Feet.”
“Thank you for spelling it out. Uh, ten?”
“You are correct!”

“How many babies can grow a nose on a head?”
“Lord willing, all of them.”
“Correct again!”

“How many t-shirts can walk on cookie sheets?”
“How big is the cookie sheet?”
“Four thousand feet.”
“We’ll, I’d guess, around six billion five hundred and thirty-three thousand.”
“You’re right!”

“How many shirts can grow on legs?”
“Nine hundred.”
“Absolutely correct!”

He looked over at his Grandpa, who wears glasses, and asked, “How many glasses can grow on ears?”
“One.”
“Correct.”

“How many shoes can grow on elbows?”
“Two million.”
“You are correct! I think we have a winner, folks!”

Of course, the winner was his Momma. He’s biased, but that’s okay.

Thank you for allowing me to share a snippet of our day with you for the last few minutes.

At least with Son #1, you always know that you’re going to give a correct answer. That’s a trivia game I can get behind.

to the creative mind of Son #1,
– Caleb